walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize