She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
