Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
