I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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