just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
