wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
