I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
