North Korea, Best Korea!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
