Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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