just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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