Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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