U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Non-Jews are for practice
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
