I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
