just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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