You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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