Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize