My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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