We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
