so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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