If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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