If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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