You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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