its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
