I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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