Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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