Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My vagina is officially offended.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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