just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
