Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
