I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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