you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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