So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
