there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
