We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
