im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
