i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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