well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I FOUND THE LEGS
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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