I forgot how hot balto sounded
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize