seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
