What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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