yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
