He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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