69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize