I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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