So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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