Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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