Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.