I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.