He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
