I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I AM VODKA MAN
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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