he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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