i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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