i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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