why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
