The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
