I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
