Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
