He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
either way he was missing a nipple.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
