just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
