I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
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it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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